Evil Eye
By Etaf Rum
Published 2023
Read Feb 2024
Etaf Rum was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY, by parents who immigrated from refugee camps in Palestine where they were raised. Rum’s grandparents lived in refugee camps most of their lives. Rum has now brought the world two books with stories that describe how at least some Palestinian immigrant families like hers work to maintain their culture after they come to this country. The critical elements of the culture she describes: 1) a woman’s role and responsibilities are to marry, birth sons, raise children, obey her husband and her husband’s parents; 2) a man’s role and responsibilities are to marry a pure woman, produce sons, provide for his family, and keep his wife and daughters safe, pure, and obedient by any means necessary; 3) the oldest sons has an additional role: to support his father in providing for the family while supporting his own family, produce sons, and to obey his parents.
Etaf Rum’s first book A Woman is No Man was a New York Times Best Seller and a post about it can be found on this website. This reader wished to share the book with one of her book groups but it was considered “too dark”. This reader acknowledges that it was quite “dark” but feels that the story highlights important enables readers to confront desires of immigrants coming to this county to retain their home community’s culture and not assimilate into the general culture of the county they are joining.
Etaf Rum’s new book, Evil Eye, gives a new story that shares this theme and some of the “darkness” of her first book. It’s likely this book is more autobiographical than her first book as the protagonist shares many aspects of Rum’s actual life. This reader anticipates writing this book was somewhat cathartic for the author. The author’s own experience enables Rum’s descriptions of the protagonist’s struggles with her marriage believable. At times these frustrations and the character’s reactions/actions seem repetitive but that too is believable. This story is absolutely not as dark as the story in her first book but also sometime not as engaging. This reader will leave the plot for future readers to discover.
Rum doesn’t preach the best way for immigrants to settle in this country—assimilate rapidly or retain your culture at all costs- for the immigrants themselves and their children. She acknowledges the challenges both the immigrants and their children face and provides her readers with some insight into these struggles.
Rum’s book allows us to consider the expectations of people in the receiving country of immigrants. While we like to think of the United States as a “melting pot” of cultures of all the different immigrants that came to this land and that all will naturally assimilate into the culture while retaining “nice” aspects of their culture (such as food, dress, and holiday practices). However, the challenges of immigrants and their families are not all the same, especially those whose religion is not Judeo-Christian, the predominant culture in the US. However, some of the concerns are universal. Purity of one’s daughter until marriage has historically been an important goal regardless of place of origin or religion. The advent of The Pill in the sixties and fairly ready access to birth control lowered the consequences of pre-marital sex and astronomically changed the cultural norms of courtship and marriage in many—but not all—countries, although at different rates. Acceptance of women in the workplace and in politics, specifically assuming roles outside child-rearing and home-making, similarly has changed norms but again far from identically in different countries and cultures. Is the world “going to hell in a hand basket” as a result? Should immigrants—and current residents—who don’t want to allow women to have a role in society beyond marriage and childcare be forced to accept these “newfangled” notions and support their daughters in pursing options they didn’t consider themselves? Many things drive people to migrate so these questions will continue to be faced by society in general as strong differences in opinion regarding “the right way to be” continue to exist. Rum’s books add interesting fuel for such discussions and this reader will continue to suggest others read her work.
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